OK, so you do decided to have a relationship - that's great. What's the next thing? Here is one basic principle that most couples tend to omit, because they actually fear to talk about it. I'm talking about COMMON GOALS. What is that?
Well, when Mary goes out with John, she, most probably, pictures herself a nice house, 3 kids, evenings together. What about John? Maybe, he just wants a nice lady to hug without any commitments. That situation might be all right for a month or two, but not for a long relationship.
After a short period of time being a couple, in order to have a certain future together, well, you would have to decide what COMMON FUTURE you'd like to have together and that's a decision to be made by both of you!
You both want a warm home - well, that's a great start, isn't it? You agree together on 2 kids for now, wonderful! Want to spend holidays outdoors? Both of you? Well, here you have a common future holidays, don't you?
Once you have plans which both of you agree with, here go unneeded arguments, quarrels, friends' opinions that are more important than opinion of a partner and so on.
You start walking along the paths set by your plans, really understanding each other with high affection toward each other, that stems from that understanding. It's a great feeling of being really together in life.
In what areas should you have common plans? Let's see:
1. Spending time together, both evenings and holidays.
Here you can discuss what films you want to see together, what books or performances it would be great to attend including decisions of who searches for what, who orders tickets and so on. Regarding vacations - which places you would like to visit together and when and again - who should do what in order for those plan to happen.
2. Building career and having a warm living relationship.
If you both or anyone of you wants to create a successful career and it demands a lot of your time, conflicts might arise unless you both come to an agreement about what time of your life you are going to spend together. So, you can plan for that time for the weeks, months and years to come.
3. If married - having children and raising them.
Try to imagine together how many children you would like to have and when, how to raise them successful and happy. No small amount of planning is needed here.
4. Building a firm financial level together.
That's can be the fun part of it. You can plan opening a business together, creating an investment plan to assure you financial future and so on.
5. Having a great, beautiful home together.
If you are serious it might such an enjoyable time together to plan what house and where would you both like to have and how it should look like. This planning can go for hours.
6. Many others...
You got the point. Find more things to plan together and go and implement the planning in the real life.
Just talk about your plans - that would prolong the relationship for as long as the plans exist and are carried forward. And the feeling of accomplishment that comes along that is fantastic.
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